Music. I had to jot
this thought down because it impacted me on the way to work today. Instead of a bus, I ended up taking a taxi this morning
because a driver stopped and it only cost 4 soles (less than $2).
I climbed in and the driver began channel surfing on the
radio. You know how in the USA some of the
Latino stations seem to be like 88.3 or 88.7 or something really low in the
radio dial? I think the North American
music is like that here, waaaay down there.
And it doesn’t stop there when you hit “seek”, you have to find it. I believe the station was on 88.9. The song that was playing was “House of the
Rising Sun” as performed by the Animals. That white boy could sing. This
song reminds me of my Dad. I distinctly
remember it being turned up on the radio every time it came on. SO, I’m sitting in a taxi in the middle of the busy bustling city of
Lima and listening to this song and it is like a lullaby amidst the
madness and my perpetual state of confusion.
And for reasons only God will ever know, I started to cry.
!!!!
Really??? Right now? Me? Because of “House of the Rising Sun”? Really?
It wasn’t like a snotty, convulsive cry, just a few tears
trickling down. I know I have a tendency to be moved by music, but come
on. Breathe. No problem, I can handle this. I can regain my composure. I’m tough.
Get it together, Chica. Then the
radio commercials came on in Spanish and I was whipped back into reality.
Whew. Glad that’s
over.
Now I’m about 10 minutes from work, thinking about work like I should be,
thinking about how I don’t need to be looking all crazy when I get to the
office and then…another song came on.
George Harrison’s “My Sweet Lord”.
You know it? The one where you
can hear John Lennon with the back ground singers singing “Hall- leh- loo- yah”
and “Krishna Krishna”. Well, apparently God or someone thought that I needed a good
cry today no matter what and if “House of the Rising Sun” didn’t do it, then by
god a mantra by a couple of Beatles would.
Well played, Universe. Well
played.
Whatever composure I regained after the first tears was
totally lost and the waterworks came on.
This time with snot and lots of tears and the ugly face and
everything. I have no doubt the taxi
driver thought I was INSANE. But I
couldn’t stop it.
So, I had a decision to make. I could either let this emotion overwhelm me
and make me sad or I could make it work for me.
Why be sad? That doesn’t do
anything. Music is meant to be good for
the soul. That was George Harrison’s
intent when he wrote that beautiful ballad.
And I am freaking lucky as hell that of all things, my kind of music is available here
on the radio. So I turned that frown
upside down and just started singing along.
Oh my lord…my sweet lord…. I really want to know you…..Really want to go
with you....Really want to show you lord…..That it won’t take long, my lord.
I guess it hit me.
I’m here. I’m really here and I
have to do this. I have to show the
world and myself and my son that life is possible anywhere. Happiness and struggles are universal. But I’m not in control. And that’s okay too. Just be.
Just listen and feel and learn and grow and let the universe take me to
wherever it intends. I just need to keep
my mind and soul open.
Yes.
I am lucky and grateful.
I’m lucky to be here. I’m lucky
and grateful to have an organization that is supporting me through this. I’m lucky and grateful that I have a smart
and kind supervisor here who is patient and willing to help me learn. I’m lucky and grateful that I have a husband
and son who are here with me, helping me, loving me and having fun with
me.
And then, I shit you not, the next song on the radio was
Carly Simon’s “You’re so Vain”.
Touché, Universe.
Touché.
If you live under a rock and don't know any of these songs, here are some pretty amazing versions of each:
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| Taken near our home by my husband, Bryan. |
You had me at "I shit you not". I love you sweet gal...
ReplyDeleteYou know it.
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