Slipping Away, What Can I Say?

Won't you stay inside me month of May?  And hold on to me golden days....slippin' away....

JT has been my solid go-to man this whole year. At the end of this post I'll link to the song that inspired today’s post and that I've listened to in every corner of this country when I needed a pick-me-up.  There were many developments in May and I've got some photos and thoughts that have been building that I want to share.  And today, something happened that made me just take a picture and write a blog post.

We'll start with the most important part:  Hair.  Last year I told you that we three were committing to leaving our hairs uncut for the entire year.  Well, we did, mostly.  BC couldn't see through his camera lens half the time for photo jobs and needed an occasional trim up front, which required an occasional trim in the back to ensure we didn't have a mullet.   

Remember his "before" photo and then what I expected him to look like in one year?

Here was BC just before we moved.

Here is what I expected him to look like after one year.

Aaaand reality:  BC, doin what he loves most.  Handsome as ever.  Not Jackson Browne, but that's okay. 

Remember me?  This was me on July 4, 2012 the day I left the USA for Peru:

Shoulder length, no bangs, full of hope.....

Well here is me now!  And with my dear friend Carmen.  Still got some hope...

We were visiting a project in the community of Chilcapata near Lake Titicaca.  They welcomed us with the flowers and confetti.  Re Hair - I got some bangs, and a keratin treatment to combat the Lima humidity.  But it still grew....quite a bit. I'm digging it.

And last but not least, the D-Train.  See his before picture above. Something kind of funny happened with Davis' hair journey:  The school prohibited it.  We got multiple notes and formal notices that "Davis must cut his hair."  So much for that!  So he had to get regular cuts.  But we pushed the limit every time as much as we could and made them make us.  So there.  Here is a real 'before and after' of one of his required school cuts.

How cute is this guy?

That is our hair journey, consider yourself up to date.  

Anyway, May was busy and lots of changes happened.  First, Bryan's grandfather passed away which was very sad for him and his family.  Aaaaand, our renters in our home in Little Rock just UP and decided that they didn't want to pay rent anymore and wanted to leave.  There were and are lots of technical components to this, but it turned out, the best thing for Bryan to do to manage it all was to head back to the USA.  So he did.  BC left the second week in May for Little Rock to be with his family and close down all the legalities of our rental situation.  He also headed back to finally see the cutest dog in the world.  

Blurry, but happy.

You may be wondering "But Jessica, how are you doing it all now?  Alone?"  (You may not be wondering, but whatever.) And the short answer is, I'm doing it just fine.  I hired a maid which is very common in Peru.  She picks D up from school and is at our house with him until I get home from work.  Four hours a day.  Long story short:  When I come home from work every day, my son is safe and sound, his homework is done and his chores are done.  When I come home from work every day, my house smells like freshly cooked Peruvian food and dinner is laid out on the table.  When I come home from work every day, my entire house is spotless and all my laundry is clean and put away.

Need I say more?  

Yep, lots of changes.  But these changes have forced me to make adjustments that have paid off.  I have a renewed sense of independence and a totally different feeling now with him gone.  Eleven months ago if I didn't have Bryan's hand to hold, I probably would've collapsed at every turn.  But now, I know the language better, have connections and friends to help me, am traveling less with work....  it is just easier.  I'm much more comfortable with life in this giant city.  Life has taken on a groove and I am thriving.  

It has given me a renewed sense of ability.  I am doing this.  I am living in a different country, speaking a different language and living a completely different life than I ever thought I was capable of.  And it ain't so bad.  

Still, we miss Bryan.  And the days are quickly winding down towards our return.  D flies back to the USA the first week in July.  I head back the second week in July.  Re-entry will have its own set of challenges....but I'm looking forward to tackling them too.  Just like I did the ones here.  In the meantime, here is the last family shot of us.  Taken along the Malecon at sunset on the Costa Verde in Lima.

So now to why I was inspired to write today.  Well, my necklace broke.  And so did my heart just a little.  About two years ago I purchased one of those "mom" necklaces for myself for Mother's Day that has your child's birthday, name and birthstone and I wore it all the time.  Then I lost it.  Then BRYAN found it for me and I covered him in kisses.  It has special meaning to me.

The night before I left for Peru (July 3 to be exact) my sister gave me a silver ring for my year here.  It was something she'd worn every day for years and even had a tan line without it.  She told me I could wear it or tuck it away or do whatever, and I opted to put it on my necklace.  Then while traveling in Cusco this year, I found a "Spiral of Life" charm that represents the never ending cycle of life and the path to our creator - the spiral is found all over Peru in nature, Nazca, Aztec drawings, art, tapestries...  I loved the mother-of-pearl design and felt like it belonged on my neck alongside my son and sister's love.  I have worn this every day in Peru. It has been my security blanket.  In meetings, while waiting in lines, in taxis, in bed, all the time, I play with it.  I reach for it constantly and mindlessly toy with each little piece.  I know exactly how it feels, and how it makes me feel.  It has been a constant reminder of my priorities and all of the love and goodness that surrounds me on this planet and from above.

It broke today.  Just the chain, and I don't have another one here to replace it.  Thank God the pieces didn't get lost because I might've just melted down like the green witch.  

The last month of my journey will be without my last remaining security blanket.  First Bryan is gone, then my necklace.  Weird what we hold onto, no?  For some reason, it seems appropriate.  That the smallest, last piece of home that I've been holding onto for security and comfort won't be accessible anymore.  It means that I only have myself.  And my strength and comfort must come from within.  And that, my friends is what this year in Peru has all been about. 

Slipping away, what can I say?
Won't you stay inside me month of May,
And hold on to me golden days, slipping away.....